Fuck. Just fuck. This book hit really close to home in a lot of ways for me. I spent a lot of time in the full-on ugly cry mode. I am kind of raw from it still. Before I get started, No Tomorrow does have triggers for mental health issues as well as drug abuse issues. But, it’s amazing af, just amazing as absolute fuck. Probably one of my Top Ten for this year. Definitely one of the best books dealing with mental illness I’ve read. The other one in that category is a K. Webster book. So let’s get into the book.
The book spans 14 years. We don’t see all 14 years, we do get bits and pieces of it here and there, but enough to get a real look at the life that Piper and Blue/Evan live and lead.
When Piper is 21, she’s working as a receptionist. Every day for lunch, she goes out to a nearby park and sits and reads while enjoying her lunch. One day, a beautiful musician moves into the park and plays across from her bench, along with his dog who raises his paw whenever anyone puts money in the cup. She enjoys listening to the music for a few days, before she buys the musician and his dog lunch one day. She finds out that his name is Evan but everyone calls him Blue and his dog is named Acorn. They eventually become good friends. When he’s not there one day, she goes down to the bridge that she knows that he sleeps under and finds out that he’s not feeling well and has a migraine. She ends up going home and getting stuff to take care of him and bringing it to him. And they have sex. It was her first time. And that’s the start of this odyssey that these two go on.
Blue is homeless, which doesn’t bother him as much as it bothers Piper at times. He has chosen this life because he likes to just walk around and move from place to place to place. Right now, he’s in this small New Hampshire town, but no one knows where he’ll be next. He doesn’t make any plans, he doesn’t necessarily know what day it is. He’s pretty happy that way. However, Piper is much more traditional, and she wants everything with Blue because they have fallen in love. Her friend Ditra wants her to leave Blue alone because he’s some homeless drifter musician, but Piper keeps telling her that Blue isn’t like that.
Piper and Blue get to have a few good months, but then one day, Blue disappears. He left Piper behind. He left Acorn behind. He left Piper with another little surprise.
At the very heart of No Tomorrow is love. It’s what it takes to love someone even when it’s hard, in fact, especially when it’s hard. It’s about what makes up a family. It’s about learning to take care of yourself when the person you love is hurting themselves and destroying themselves and is just a person that you can’t be around. And how hard it is to stay in love with a person when you aren’t anywhere near that person and when no one in your life supports your love. Piper and Blue really do walk through hell a lot of the time. It’s not easy on either of them. Most of the book is told from Piper’s POV, but we do have a few chapters of Blue’s POV which I found to be really helpful. I’m not going to lie to you. You are going to fucking cry. I mean, full on ugly, have a box of tissue next to you cry. I’ve gotten teary at books before, but this one left me with an emotional hangover.
I kind of guessed many of Evan’s issues before the diagnoses popped up in the book, but that’s because I’ve loved a man for 25 years who has had hallucinations, hospitalizations, and suicide attempts. So some of the stuff that Blue did were really familiar to me, both through that experience as well as my own bipolar experience. Being the person who can’t trust their brain isn’t easy. Neither is loving the person who can’t trust their brain. That’s what makes this one so incredibly personal to me. And to make my story even closer to Blue and Piper’s, my husband and I spent 9 years apart for reasons.
This was truly amazing, and I recommend everyone read it. I’d say happy reading, but it isn’t always. Good reading instead.